


New Dream: Being at Dad's Side

by Marta_Ayanami



Series: The young alchemist was scared to dream anew, perhaps. [2]
Category: Tangled: The Series (Cartoon)
Genre: Again I first saw the idea by snowprincess-artist, Alternate Universe, F/M, Future AU, I watched Sundrop as of now!, Multi, Other, also in this fic Varian is Moon!Varian, but it was awesome so easter eggs shall appear, fic plot will not change, so thanks, this story is a bildungsroman btw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-02-28 18:58:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13277853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marta_Ayanami/pseuds/Marta_Ayanami
Summary: Now Varian knew only one thing.He'd never let go of his father again, never again. Ever. And even the powers of the Moon could be useful for that. After all, no matter what people said, these were mainly the powers of protection. Only violent when one was bad at using them.He didn't mind being considered by most people a freak or a demon, as long as Dad was safe and content with him. Somehow, father still didn't consider him evil, even despite everything. So now Varian only wanted to be a good son.Maybe someday, also a husband to Cassie, a good one, but how? He could only truly be in one place at once. He wouldn't dare leave Dad for long, what if something happened?His father sometimes suggested that Varian, an adult, move out someday. Varian would always smile and nod and not write any answer, trying to conceal and not feel utter horror at the very idea. Was Dad trying to give him a heart attack? Rude.If only Varian could stop looking like a child, he'd be quite content now, or so he told himself everyday. It was no fault of his, he felt right in assuming, that the Moondrop powers preserved his childhood appearance.3.02.2018: Update in March. Some stuff to work out.





	1. And She Wondered why Freak's Genuine Friendship Frightened Fiends

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: 1. I can't watch "Secret of the Sundrop" until March. And so, I'd humbly request absolutely no spoilers, please. :) (I've watched "Ready as I'll Evet Be", circa 100 times, on YT, but nothing past that.)
> 
> And this fic's timeline diverges right after "The Alchemist Returns" as well as millenias ago, seeing as Sundrop Spirit and Moondrop spirit, and Flowers, and Sirens, probably don't exist in actual "Tangled" canon.
> 
> 2\. I'm pausing my other fics for now, because I've gotten really involved in this one, somehow. XD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sheila wasn't sure what attracted her to Freak. But she would never act on it, because the Freak had something happen to him that would make him look like a fifteen year old boy - forever. Even though he was an adult man now, or, at least his mind and his soul were adult, she dearly hoped.

_Dedicated to the true superheoes of my life: my parents, who are awesome for forgiving a daughter who lied to them about her (lack of) accomplishments for two years out of shame and misguided love for them, but actually, mostly for herself, looking back. You won't read it because you don't read in English (well, maybe Dad, a bit), but you're amazing! And I should never've doubted your enormous capacity for forgiveness, which was the reason I put off coming clean for so long, those three years ago. Our trust might be shakier now, but astonishingly so, it's all the stronger for it._

_And dedicated to all true parents like that. And all insecure youths like me, who really should learn to trust in their parents' trust, if they trust in their love._

********************

It was a good day. Yesterday, the last of the black spikes in the village had disappeared. Sheila heard people gossip that Freak removed it with his bare hands, or some said with his hair, or some said that with his tears, but everyone knew nobody could move the black rocks, so Sheila would believe that when she saw it.

Still, the day was no longer so good. No longer looked so good to her, Sheila the milkmaid, at least. Sheila was about to get mugged. Because somehow, even the trick with beating the mugger over the head with her heavy bag didn’t work.

Or maybe it just didn’t work because the mugger was one of the Stabbington brothers and a heavy bag wasn’t enough. Sheila sighed. Muggings weren’t something that happened often in her dear village, Old Corona, and neither were Stabbingtons. Altough she had to admit that Old Corona changed a bit ever since changing locations—

A familiar voice broke her out of her reverie. A very quiet, energetic, and somehow really musical and pleasant voice, one that made one imagine the owner of the voice singing lullabies to babies.

“Heeeey, mister Stabbington, buddy, old pal, former cellmate, it's me, Varian, your former punching bag! Good morning, this isn’t a good day for stealing. My Dad would be upset and we don’t want that, do we?”

It was another infamous person. However, Sheila grinned. She knew what would happen, now, even though she still scarcely believed it. A friend told her. And so, she looked at the bandit’s face – Stabbington’s, not Varian’s. Both of them spent roughly the same amount of time in prison, but as far as she knew, Stabbington did because he loved money too much, and Varian – because he loved Quirin too much, and everyone likes Quirin, so between the two guys, she knew whom she would choose.

And so, her gaze never left Stabbington’s face, and yes, her friend was right. Stabbington visibly flinched, and when he heard the “Dad” part, he grew almost deathly pale. He let go of Sheila immediately and raised his hands up.

“Good... morning, sir alchemist,” he uttered. “It is... not my intention to upset sir Quirin.”

“Oh, good. Then you won’t ever steal anything in Old Corona again. Unless it’s from me. You can steal from me, if you’re bored. We’re pals, after all.”

The younger Stabbington flinched and took a step back.

“I will never steal anything in Old Corona again, sir.”

Varian tutted quietly.

“But your brother said the same thing.”

“Yes, and that’s why he hasn’t come here again,” the Stabbington replied. “And I should’ve followed in his footsteps. Forgive me.”

“Oh, don’t worry, buddy, I still owe you for doing me such a great honour in our prison cell.”

The young man was grinning. It was a friendly grin – honestly friendly – and Sheila would know, she knew people.

The Stabbington gave the young alchemist one last look, one of pure, unaltered horror, and began to run.

“Wait just a second, please.” Varian whispered after him.

The Stabbington stopped in his tracks and turned back.

“Oh, thank you very much. So... mister Stabbington, about Flynn? And your desire to kill him?”

“If I ever want to kill Flynn Rider,” the man muttered, and it seemed as if he learnt it by heart, “I’ll kill you first.”

“Good, you remember. That’s very nice of you. You can go now, and please say ‘hi’ to your brother from me.”

The Stabbington fled. Sheila wanted to thank Varian, but the young man – was he twenty now? No, nineteen, nineteen was his first birthday out of prison, and it happened very recently. Not many people would attend, if not for the unexpected Princess’ attendance. However, Varian looked at his pocket watch, flinched, muttered, barely audibly _twenty minutes thirty seconds since I’ve last seen Dad?! What if something happened to him in the meantime?_ and ran off towards Quirin’s home.

Well. It was Varian’s home again, too, Varian was always there now, but, if one looked at him, he behaved like a guest there. No, not like a guest, like a beggar, who couldn’t believe his luck that his presence there was tolerated, and tried to take as little space as possible.

And saying that this current Varian treated his father like a god... well, if gods were treated this way, no religion would ever die out. Sheila would never say that the young man kissed the ground Quirin walked on, because she was pretty sure it would give Varian the ideas to actually do that.

She didn’t know much about Varian and Stabbingtons. They were in the same cell for a year, that much she knew. She’s heard legends, from some petty thieves, but they couldn’t possibly be true.

The legend went like this: the cells were full, so Varian was thrown in with Stabbington’s brothers. They would use him as a punching bag every day. He never protested or fought back, in fact, he seemed strangely content, according to other inmates.

A month later, one Stabbington reportedly told Varian that they’re beating him because he reminds them of Flynn when he was his age. And reportedly, Varian then said, all but beaming, “That’s wonderful. So, please kill me, just not during the visiting hours or my father would be upset with us... Please just kill me, and then you don’t have to kill Eugene. Wouldn’t that be great? And I’d be very grateful to you, too. And it's mutual. If you ever are bored of your life, you know what to do, my friend.”

And since then, reportedly, the Stabbingtons never touched Varian again, and avoided him like fire. And when asked about the then-seventeen-year-old traitor, would mutter _wrong in the head_ or _creepy_ or _I’m not touching this, what if his curse is contagious._

Sheila doubted any of this was true. That is, until today. Every villager would say that Varian was a perfect son to Quirin ever since coming back – well, the boy had even destroyed that creepy lab, and sworn off alchemy forever – but she was beginning to suspect that, no matter how outwardly _good and kind and softspoken and helpful_ Varian was, and yes, he truly was – that no matter, there really was something deeply wrong with the boy’s mind.

Boy, not young man. A young man wouldn’t have an honest panic attack because of suddenly realising he’s left his father for three hourse and now can’t know what exactly his father is doing at the moment and if he’s moving, and she’s observed just that happening to Varian two years ago, when he was on a date with that lady in waiting and a guard in one, Cassandra. And the boy just left the lady in the middle of a kiss and sprinted home in such a hurry as if there was a fire.

One old man, Tom, he once jokingly said that ‘this new Varian would be happiest if he could be Quirin’s shadow’ but Sheila was now pretty sure that this was reality: that Varian would be happiest, or at least, calmest, if he could be with Quirin every waking moment. And the boy didn’t sleep much.

Still, she was pretty sure now that this was why there were now, again, less and less crimes in the new Old Corona. Some villagers said it was enough to mention Freak’s name in any bandit’s presence. Well, Varian's name, but even Freak would suffice unless they were foreign.

Everybody knew.

And speaking of legends, someone else, another inmate, apparently told someone in Snuggly Duckling, that the Moon Demon - what all criminals called Varian for inexplicable reason - destroyed two fingers of older Stabbington by humming after the brothers talked too loudly about their plans to murder Flynn Rider.

That, Sheila was sure, had to be a fairytale. Freak was just their kind and slightly dangerous Freak, no longer a Wizard, after his time in royal prison. And Freak had never been a demon. 

They had no demons in Old Corona, and even magic rocks were gone now. So, no demons. And the only magical thing about Freak was the fact that he was cursed to never grow up, bodily that is, it seemed. She's never seen any black spikes around Var-Freak. Almost calling him by name? She shook her head. It's not like she could marry a man who looked like a child, no, no. Everybody would laugh at her.

It's just... once, when talking to Varian, it was just three days after his release from prison, he was getting milk from her dairy, and suddenly, he looked slightly pale, and then a black spike grew quite close to her and Varian, he looked quite alarmed and pushed her out of the way - fortunately, nothing happened, to either of them, barely a scratch to him, that is - and Varian looked sheepish, and sort of muttered, or maybe said in a sing-song voice,  _Sorry, my bad, I hope you still like me anyway, miss Sheila._

And ever since then, she always dreamt of him. Every night. And there wasn't a day during which she wouldn't think of Var--freak, at least once. Silly of her, she knew. But maybe, back then, she just, simply, plainly, fell in love with the young man, back then, even if he was a freak of nature.

So going back home, she hummed, that melody of his. Of his? Well, she never really heard him sing it, but somehow, it was his, she knew that. Somehow.

It was like, in her heart of hearts, she knew that as long as she hummed it every day, she'd always be silently in love with him. And she was so used of it, the thought of not being so anymore... was scary, now.

She blushed, hoping nobody saw it.

The feeling itseld was eerily similar to the momentary feeling of gratitude after the boy protected her from a magical moon rock back then. But a fleeting gratitude could never have made her dream of this man every night, and for how long?

She was in love, she knew. The only human explanation, and he was just as human as she was, no matter what some evil people said. Moon demon! As if. No, the Varian she loved had to be a human. No demon could have such an alluring voice.


	2. Because the Little Boy Almost Loved Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After everything, Varian really hated the sound of his own voice.
> 
> And it's not like anybody could tell him he was wrong about it. What did Cassie know about voices, anyway. And he liked Rapunzel as a friend again, but he never believed a single word out of her mouth again, that made their friendship much easier.
> 
> He'd only believe Dad, which was, all around, pretty convenient that way. Now Varian could just loathe his own voice forever. Especially when singing.

The sunset was beautiful. The birds chirped, the cool breeze rustled the leaves, the sky was just... perfect. All those colours, all those hues... it's been a while since the now twenty three-year-old former alchemist has seen such things.

Father's health was a bit weak ever since getting freed and he spent most of the time inside. And therefore, so did Varian. 

_Even dates with Cassie are often inside my house. She doesn't mind. But today, today it's different! Today it's different._

He looked again at the piece of parchment, grinning widely. At first, he thought that the letters were just a tiiiiiny teeeeeny bit unCassielike, but that was just his paranoia. That had just been his paranoia. Oh, he knew he was paranoid. How could he not be, after everything that happened to  ~~him~~ Dad?

_Everything that happened? As if. Moon magic happened, aggravated by alchemy, and then, the way I freed him with that magic I absorbed... so clumsy, I almost murdered him! An inch in another direction, and he would have a black spike through his heart. Everything that happened? I happened, nothing more or less. Just like I later happened to 'my pal' Stabbington's fingers._

The breeze ran through Varian's now mercifully short hair, trying to mess it up, which was a futile task. After a minute of being messed up, the hair returned to its previous position. So if one dozed off for a minute, they could mistake Varian's hair for a sculpture. Just like the rest of Varian's body.

Alone with these thoughts, because his fiancee was surprisingly late, he touched his own neck. The barely visible scar... Still, that was one powerful swing, and quick one at that, able to leave the scar before the instinctive Moon indestructible protection powers kicked in. He idly wondered if he'd be dead if the bandit was just a bit faster. But it was wrong to think that way. Father would be upset, for some reason, still. Varian still called Stabbingtons friends and in a way, meant it, because he really admired their quickness and perseverance in their grudges. Really admirable. And they compared him to young Flynn a few times. That truly made him glad! Not that he deserved that. He didn't. He was nothing like Flynn. Nothing like anyone who could be admired.

_What are you?!_

_I'm sorry, Stabbington, sir, but you can't really chop my head off. It's like those black spikes, you know. Moon powers! I'm sorry._

_You--_

_So let's make a deal. I'll let you kill Flynn if you kill me first, or at least cut my arm or leg off, because to be fair, that's quite defficult, even with your very impressive halabard, sir. But if you kill Flynn or Cassie or even the princess - she's not so bad after all, it was all me -before you can really hurt me, you just might just get hurt yourself. Oh, maybe not even on purpose. You've seen me wake up from nightmares._

_With those demonic rocks all around, yes, I've seen--- stop this! I won't even look at your village, or that princess, or Rider again, stop those rocks!_

_I'm sorry, I can't. My throat hurts from almost being cut, I can't sing._

_\------------_

_She's late. She's never been so late. The handwriting, what if-- nah. It smells of her. It really smells of her. I have a good sense of smell, and now with being the Moondrop, even better, somehow._

____________

Varian dozed off. He dreamt of Cassie. Of sleeping with her, like she promised in this  ~~fakefakefake~~ certainly not fake note she's sent him. For the first time, finally!

He woke up with a black rock piercing his hand. The rock wasn't shining, only his hair was, blue-silvery now, for a moment, instead of usual black. He sang under his breath and the rock desintegrated and flew off with the wind, like dust. He gritted his teeth in pain, checking his wound. Such a rude awakening was nothing new, as the Moon powers were tied to his emotions, fortunately. Fortunately, because otherwise, how would he ever have freed his Dad?

The bone was pierced. However, as his body let that happen, that meant it was nothing lethal or permanently disfiguring. Good.

He heard the familiar voice, concerned, and he perked up, looking up from his injured hand and expecting to see his beloved fiancee (but did he love her, if he could bear to stay away from her without physically aching, like when he was away from his father?), and there she was!

"Again? Varian, you have to learn to control this!"

Father and Cassie were the only good people who knew that Varian had Moon powers not just temporarily, on that day, but permanently. Other than them, only criminals knew- because Varian, much as he could appreciate criminals - wanted any bandits to fear him.

To be so afraid, that they'd rather starve or something than even touch anything Varian held dear.

"Cassie!", he shouted in delight, shouting for the first time in seven months. Usually, he preferred not to hear his own voice so loudly. The voice that made the moon inside his bloodflow hum. He loathed it. But sometimes, on momentous enough occassions, he'd bear it. In order to show the ones he cherished his true emotions, and not just whisper like around everyone, everyday.

"You're always early," she said, with a soft smile. "I've received your lantern just a few hours ago. And the time you specified - it's not for another hour, still."

Her words echoed inside Varian's mind, and then inside Varian's blood, too, apparently, as he could see now, like through the thick fog, Cassie jumping away, shouting _Varian, what's wrong?!_ away from two hundred and five (Varian could always feel how many, ever since he made the source of them go inside himself) black spikes suddenly growing from the ground around Varian, forming a circle.

It was very high and thick circle, now, so he couldn't see Cassandra anymore. He hummed half-heartedly, not changing anything about the sudden black wall - or, maybe more appropriately, a black indestructible (but for him) well, but only making sure no rock touched so much as a single hair on Cassie's head, or even Cassie's dress. He had accidently destroyed many of her dresses, so not again.

He willed himself to forget what he's just learnt. Just for a second. Took a deep breath and sang under his breath, and the black dust soon flew off, and he suddenly found himself in Cassandra's embrace, though why, he couldn't tell.

And then he could no longer will himself to forget.

"It's, it's a trap." He whispered, barely audibly not wanting to provoke the Moondrop inside him again. "I, I never wrote to you today. Never. And you, please say you wrote. Please say you wrote to me. About this meeting. About this special date, and we would finally-"

Cassandra shook her head. "I am willing, if that's what you're asking. But I didn't write it. And you - in other words, somebody faked our handwriting, and deliberately used the sun lantern, like you always do, to lure us here."

_Us? As if. To lure me away._

He would run, but it was a waste of time. He had senses everywhere, if he willed it, and especially in the Old Corona. He promised himself that there would never be any Moon rocks in Old Corona again, not counting the short appearances during the nights with nightmares, but it was only a promise to somebody he loathed, after all, so he could easily break it. That was fine.

"Varian, don't." Cassandra said sternly, she who already knew him well enough to read him like an open book. "You'll accidently injure somebody on the way from here to the village, or accidently trap someone, and you know that!"

She was right. Of course she was right. She was an amazing hero, a good person, and the woman she loved.

In other words, right now, she meant nothing at all to him. Because a part of him already knew what happened, he just needed to feel it through his own rocks.

_________________

The neighbours were alarmed when suddenly Quirin's house exploded in a familiar silvery explosion and they stepped away quite some distance, knowing from the experience what would happen next.

An old man shouted, "What's that?! Does the Freak have powers again?!"

Sheila shook her head in response. If Varian still had powers of darkness like some bandits thoughts, he'd have used them for the sake of the village already, she was certain. So he had no powers anymore, and the explosion wasn't his fault. Was the young man alright? And was Quirin? They had to check the rubble out, quickly!

__________________________________________

"His bed is empty. And there's parchment on it. Was. It's full of holes now. But the handwriting, I recognise it. It's the Baron's."

Cassandra cursed under her breath. Baron! When the place was infamous throughout the whole underwold of Corona's as 'untouchable', 'Moon Demon's Lair', 'Moon Monster's Treasure Vault', 'Commit a crime there and you'll be dust in the wind, pal', it was only natural...

Of course the Baron took it as a challenge. Every bandit in Corona would rather go hungry for a day then set their foot in Old Corona Village, the last thefts there happened two years ago - some particularly corageous or foolish thieves. Hopefully Varian didn't kill them, however, if he accidently did, she couldn't find it in her heart to pity the fools.

Baron, however, had, still, apparently, his status as a  _macho_ to maintain.

Men. That's why she didn't mind if Varian had a heart of a boy, not of a man, even after their betrothal.

A little boy who forever would blame himself for his father's many injuries and consequent disabilities, but even on that front, Varian, she felt, was slowly beginning his journey to self-forgiveness. Until the present roadblock.

"I read the parchment with the rocks quickly, before destroying it. They, they, th-they've kidnapped D-d-dad and want me in exchange, he wants idestructible rocks at his back and call, or he'll b-b-b-behead my D-d-dad," Varian whispered, so quietly that she could barely hear him, stuttering a bit.

She would ask him what his plan was, but that would be like asking the moon whether it plans to rise during the night.  _I won't let you go alone, she wanted to say,_ but suddenly, she heard Varian sing and knew that her idiot, whom she still wanted to share future with, was planning to leave her here, in the forest, in this 'romantic spot' apparently picked by the Baron, probably in cahoots with lady Caine. As the baron knew nothing about dates.

The black, growing spike caught her sleeve, without injuring her arm at all. Varian was being careful, and that didn't bode well. Never bode well.

"I'm going with you," she declared and clapped a hand over his mouth. He smiled at her, with honest gratitude, and said, his voice barely above a whisper,

"Thank you for saying that. I love you, too. Oh, and we're not marrying. Sorry. I'm really sorry. Also, they will go away in five hours, that's how I sang it, so don't be afraid, please. Don't be afraid. I'd rather die than scare you."

_They will go away- no, he didn't--- he swore never to use the molten one in her presence, never near her, swore it on---_

The amberlike substance appeared suddenly, growing from the black rocks, engulfing her quickly, not letting her go after her boyfriend. And no, he was not  _calling it off without asking me first!_

The amberlike engulfed her... up to her waist, then stopped abrupty.

Varian smiled at her shakily, then ran off. Cassandra cried out "Varian" but her boy never stopped running, till out of sight.

She looked down and saw, growing slowly, calmly, amidst the grass, not disturbing a thing, a clutter of tiny black rocks. They formed letters, and then words:

_since i will be baron's slave now i guess this is goodbye so huh well bye_

_and no i will not fight baron rocks may be fast but do you know how fast heads can be cut quite fast heh_

_love you and bye if you love me please do not remember me ever_

Cassandra rolled her eyes and made a futile punch at the amberlike substance just beneath her waist. Everyone said Varian changed, even Rapunzel and Eugene. They were blind, this boy never changed. She had no idea why she still liked him despite that.

Still, she was touched, a little. Before now, she's only ever seen this filial mode of communication from afar, saw how much concentration and care and patience and energy it cost Varian, Varian who chose that instead of normal ink, for reasons of his own. And to try to prove the reality of his devotion, which only Varian himself doubted. And now... now with this, no matter what the words said, Varian was saying  _You're also my family._

Varian. The former alchemist was now going, nah, sprinting, to the Baron's hideout, she knew. And not only couldn't she move, but she had no idea where that hideout was. She whistled for Owl: something that Varian, in his hurry, forgot to take into his consideretion.

_Or he wants to be chased and doesn't know that. Family. I won't marry him until he stops being such a brat. We will save this idiot's father. Together. Did you forget, Varian, that last time it wasn't just the Moon and you saving Quirin? You brat._

_Still, I knew the Baron was a scumbag. Kidnapping a deaf man who can't walk in the middle of the night._

_I fill find the hideout when I can finally can move... so in five hours, as he is usually pretty correct about his abilities now. But why wasn't I even slightly afraid when getting stuck in the thing. Has he again accidently done_ that?

"Varian!!" Cassandra shrieked, looking up at the Moon, knowing that her message could be transmitted or not on the whim, "I've already forbidden you to wall any of my emotions off, you manchild! Try and put the leash on that irresponsible voice of yours!"

She only knew one person unaffected by the voice which half-magic even without the song, and that was only because said person was accidently made deaf: Qurin, so it's not as if that was on purpose.

And now, Cassandra planned, in five hours, to go to some lion's den without being being able to possess a healthy self-preservation instinct. She rolled her eyes again.

_Thank you, genius. I'm soooo saved._


	3. Priorities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe he mistook the stars on the lake's surface for the sky itself, but Varian didn't care, he would gladly confuse it all, as long as he could achieve his own goals.
> 
> And no matter what Cassandra said, of course he did it all for his Dad's sake, all of it. Confusion and never-growing-up be damned to seven hells. He didn't care... for anything save his father. Wasn't that so?
> 
> At least the Moondrop powers liked having such a concise and clear picture, or they'd be confused as to possible courses of action. Like that, it could be crystal clear: don't touch that one important man, never influence or protect him, can touch everything else, ever, the world, time, space, and Varian included. That much was quite clear and understandable, even for ancient forces.

“Four are main things a man should not mistake if his eyes be opened: a Moon for the Sun, a camel for a horse, a warm bed for a temple vow, and the sky itself for the stars reflected on the water's surface at night.”

\- an ancient Coronian proverb, mostly forgotten now

********************************

The man woke up in a dark room (which did stir up a momentary terror in his soul, as his mind processed it as a space of absolute nothing, but then, Quirin was no child, and no helpless person, so he took a deep breath and sniffed around) – no, it wasn’t a room, it felt much smaller and the air around was thick and dusty and – did one have to  _never_ wash themselves when one was considered a bandit? Honestly. Quirin was pretty sure that his son always washed himself, even when busy plotting kingdom against their King. Anything else would be simply unhygienic, and if he was to believe Varian’s words  _alchemists always take care of their hygiene, Dad!_

In other words, Quirin concluded, chuckling a bit, because really, it was surprising to wake up like this with no context, it was no alchemist that kidnapped him.

Of course he knew he was kidnapped. He never went to sleep in a room that small. Another thing he knew, without fail, was that his son would soon make contact with him, through writing. And the shining one at that, after Varian would ‘see’ how dark the room, closet, whatever, was.

And so, he should set to tell him not to do so, because he knew how taxing the glowing kind of rock writing was on the boy.

It’s been twenty seven years, he never imagined he’d get kidnapped again

_Let my fiance go, or I will unleash hell, and believe me when I say that, as the Royal Alchemist in Training, I can and will! And no, there’s no exchange, you will give me my Quirin or you’ll get dead, that’s my exchange rate!_

Well, that was a good memory, but now Quirin was pretty sure that he was glad they stuck him in that closet alone, because now he could feel he was blushing.

 _Varian,_ he thought,  _if this was before the whole Moon event, I’d be certain that you’ll no more rash than Avelina, you’re your mother’s son, after all. But after all this…_

After all this, all he could picture now was Varian coming here and offering himself in exchange without any negotiation or any plan of escape, just like that. He knew his son loved him, but something had to be done, or that love, right now, would soon cease to exist and turn into pure obsession. He knew that. He’s seen Varian nowadays.

So there was a silver lining to this kidnapping. Qurin would now show his son that just because he was a cripple now, that was no reason to be underestimated. By the kidnappers or by his son.

_That’s the guy that crazy magician woman is infatuated with, you know? If we take him, she’ll be helpless and we can just kill her, and then him!_

Back then, nobody died, and Avelina rescued him. When Quirin later thanked her and called her brave. When he told her how proud he was of her, how strong she was, how… he still remembered what she said, back then. How she cried.

_I loved you ever since I was twelve, and I thought, I thought, I thought the day when you said you were proud of me would be the brightest day of my life, but you know what?! I don’t want to hear that, I never want to hear that, I just want you safe and sound, and so, I would turn back time if I could! Because you could have died, Quirin. There’s no pride in that! Because I loved you, you could—and now that makes me second-guess and third-guess myself, maybe meeting me wasn’t a good thing for you, after all._

_If you could turn back time, what would you have me do?_ Young Quirin had asked his beloved.

_Be half the strong and recourceful person I took you for, dummy! Come back home safely and quickly, so that I wouldn’t have to cry and threaten to kill people. Because I hate that. Alchemy isn’t about threatening to murder, and now I hate myself a bit! Also, never again say you’re proud of me, I don’t like the sound of it now. Show me instead. Show. That. You. Are._

Yes, he thought she punctuated those words. At least, Avelina’s fingers certainly moved very slowly back then, because of her distress. 

Now, his thoughts back in the present time, Quirin reached for his alchemical wheelchair. Thankfully, the bandits left it right next to him. Maybe they just didn’t want to carry him.

This wasn’t his first time being kidnapped, and as difficult as it might be to do this on his own, he now had some escaping to do.

Ever since Varian freed him while accidently also injuring him a bit, as the Moon powers were still so new to the boy and of course this was the first thing he had done with them, of course it was, he really had most of Avelina in him and only a bit of Quirin… ever since then, Varian treated him like somebody to take care of. Like somebody helpless, and that grated on Quirin’s nerves sometimes, much as he was glad that Varian was slowly, ever so slowly, coming back now. (Sometimes, he even was able to spend half an hour with Cassandra or the princess or the prince consort consort happily before suddenly anxiously rockwriting to Quirin, checking whether he was fine. So, yes, the boy was coming back. Very slowly, but Quirin was patient. And he knew that for Varian to really grow up instead of just pretending, the boy had to come back from the guilt first. Only a boy can grow up to be a man, a disguise cannot do so.)

And now some petty bandits threatened to halt this progress.

Or maybe this was, Quirin thought, climbing onto his wheelchair, a perfect opportunity to make Varian see that Quirin was no ward of his, whatever the circumstances. 

‘Because I might be deaf, but it’s my son who’s still blind to the fact that you can cherish and protect someone without putting walls around them. He really reminds me of Frederic sometimes.’

 

**

Five hours finally passed, apparently. Or it was finally closed to that time. Groaning, thirsty, hungry, but above all, infuriated, and concerned for Varian but in a weird way where she knew he’d be fine – no, she didn’t, she was trying to tell herself, only the Moondrop was trying to tell her otherwise and she’d have to fight that lie off, because she liked the boy, not the moon.... anyway. Thirsty, hungry, irritated and unafraid, she scoffed and kicked the amberlike molting rock which was scooting away slowly, like a frightened rabbit.

What was irritating was that no matter how much she kicked, the rock going away had nothing to do with that. It was only going away because it was time for it to go away, because Varian didn’t want ‘Cassie’ to be hungry or uncomfortable or scared.

Exactly, he didn’t want her ‘scared’.

So now she couldn’t be.

 _What a genius,_ she thought with a venom. _What if I want to be scared, when weird rocks encapsulate me? What if I want to feel as genuinely terrified as I want to when my stupid fiance go to probably freely make himself a slave to a most notorious criminal boss in the whole Corona, because that boss promised to free Quirin, whom he kidnapped?_

_And Varian, honestly, why would you think a Baron would keep some promise to an adult child, even if that child... can make him do whatever. Oh._

However, there was a catch. Varian didn’t know still – willed himself not to know, most likely – that he, Varian, can make things and people do whatever. And failing that, he can just freeze them in time.

Both her arms and left leg already free, if very much stiff after those five hours, she futilely kicked at the molten rock around her right foot again. And hissed in pain. She... broke an ankle, probably.

 _Talk about futile. What am_ I _doing? I know that if I wait maybe ten more minutes, I’ll be free. I do know that._

Then again, Cassandra, the Captain of Corona’s Guard, was never very good at waiting. And she hated being late for dates, she thought, smirking.

Especially since she was going to punch her fiance after all was said and done. And then maybe even be slightly petty and tell him what she’s long since realised: that the fact that Quirin was now deaf, i.e., immune to Varian’s powers, great! – was no accident at all. And no, she wasn’t asking to be deaf, that was just another shade of Varian’s insecurity.

She would ask _damn, grow up, take care of your own voice, and when you cannot, trust us to simply cover our ears, we can do that. And I know that in your imagination... ehh, in reality, nobody will hate you for that! Nobody. If somebody does, good, just erase them from your life._

 _Not literally, perhaps, since you_ are able _to do_ that, _too._

She should’ve told him that, long ago. She didn’t think he was ready. Qurin also thought Varian wasn’t ready to hear that, yet.

_Ready or not, stuff happen._

Eugene said that. He was right.

She groaned. She was _not_ going to tell Rider that he had been right. No, just. No!

Her right foot was free now. And more imortantly, her right ankle wasn’t broken, because there was no kicking there. Small blessings.

Slowly, she dragged herself over to the castle. She would need to mobilise _whole_ Guard to face the Baron in his hideout.

Meanwhile, she was certain that Rapunzel, Pascal and his son, as well as Rider were already on their way thanks to Owl. Good.

Maximus would stay home to take care of little Varian. Yes, Rapunzel named her baby son after Varian, not that Cassandra ever understood why. For what reason. Honestly. She should’ve chosen some name that would lead to less stupidity in Cassandra’s opinion.

_Unless she wants to guilt trip him into growing up. In the future someday, she can say: Uncle Varian, look, little Varian’s already seventeen, and now he’s taller than you, and ore adult!_

_Ugh._

Probably not. That was what Cassandra would do, but it wasn’t Raps’ way of doing things. Unfortunately.

***

The night was cold. At least, he thought so, seeing as he was shivering all over. Varian stopped for a moment, wondering what exactly he was going to do once he was at his destination.

A lair of _the_ most notorious crime boss of Corona.

 _I really didn’t think it through, did I?_ he quietly sang to himself, slightly embarassed, and ran his hand through his hair, which have gotten twice as long as yesterday.

He loathed when they did that, so he quickly took his pocket knife and cut them, like always. And as always, they fell to the ground with a large _thud._ Yes, they were that heavy now, seeing as they obviously changed into black rocks the moment they were no longer growing on his head. That was normal nowadays.

He knew that in a few minutes they would change into black dust and be blown away by the next gust of wind, so he no longer paid them any mind, now focusing on his plan...

_Or complete lack thereof._

_****_

An excerpt from “The Alchemist’s Diary, or how I went to the Moon and Back – not literally, please, I’m no Astronaut”

_Seventy five hours later. And during those seventy five hours, much has happened, that will surely be spoken of later, especially many heroics on the part of all members of Team Awesome, and meanwhile, Maxiumus was the best babysitter to Varian, no, not me, the other Varian, but we have priorities, don’t we all? So now I’m gonna say how my the most awesome and brave father got free and unharmed, as have we all._

_Yes, **I had some other awesome father figures in my life, too, looking also at you, Eugene, but my Father was the most awesome, and I hope he can read that from beyond.** Why does a ~~former scientist and alchemist~~ current alchemist, scientist and sorcerer and **not a he-siren, thank you very much, Priscilla, you old hag**...anyway, all above mentioned such as me, why would believe in beyond, you might ask? The answer is: I don't 'believe', just like I can't say I 'believe' the sky is blue. I know. Been there. But that was later, alright? Irrelevant to the fragment of the story of my life at hand. So. That. Will. Be. Told. Later. Okay? Okay. Anyway, believe me on this: beyond isn't that bad. If it ever becomes bad, I'll go and pull an Orpheus for everybody I love. And that's final. I don't leave family in bad living or afterliving conditions, whom do you take me for??????????_

_Anyway, here’s how we all got out free and unharmed from that lion’s den. I mean, that little “baron’s”, pfff, as if he ever had a title. What? He really didn’t. Legally. And well, we did get out unharmed._

_More or less._

_Cass, dear, I can safely swear my virtue was still intact! Thanks to the Moon._

_Please don’t let King Varian and his wife and his children read this, just. Please. Don’t traumatise baby kings. I mean, I wouldn’t call him a baby, but he had been once, and he was adorable, don’t you think so, Cass? Maybe you two should marry. Anyway, don’t let him read this._

_Or I’ll be the most shamed one-hundred-and-ten-year-old sixty-year-old man in the whole Corona._

_Anyway, it’s not thanks to me that no one was unharmed, it’s thanks to the Queen. I mean, the Princess, back then. Raps. And also thanks to Cassie, but that much is always obvious, naturally. She’s always made me realise stuff about myself and my damned powers that I’d never learn otherwise, if not for her and my father._

_Right, I should visit Rapunzel and Eugene soon, because it’s the anniversary tomorrow! Really, what would Cassie say._

_Anyway. I’ve digressed again. Oops!_

_****_

"But you can make the Baron let us all go, I think you just didn't want to believe the power you have, and you froze your own disbelief with your powers," Cassandra said, calmly. "If you sing your song, or at least hum it, or even in your mind... and then tell him to let the three of us go, he will let us go! And everybody here will obey him, because they usually obey him, as you've seen."

Varian stared at his former fiancee. Ex-fiancee? Uhm, girlfriend? What even were they anymore. What she was saying wasn't true. Couldn't be true. He'd know, if it was true. He was the one with the power, after all. So how could he not know his own powers?

He hummed the melody, shrugged, and gave it a try, just for entertainment and to prove that Cassie was mistaken. He's decided to sing something completely random, that would prove it to her, that his darkness powers weren't so convenient, for no one. He turned to face the Baron, who was now going to take another sword swing at him, and quickly sang:

"If you've ever desired someone, I somehow remind you of them, and you want me. You want me. Oh, and in order to have me, you're letting Cassie and Dad go. And you will let them go unharmed no matter what, no matter what they do. You want me, specifically. Forever."

It's not like anything would happen, so Varian just picked his own sword up and, and then let go of it in shock when the Baron pulled him close, much too close for Varian's comfort, and the young former alchemist already regretted his lack of faith, especially as the Baron called him "oh, my wild Lady Caine", and kissed him deeply and with a passion of the Trojan War before the young man could protest. The kiss was a bit too long and too odious for Varian who still had a fifteen-year-old body, in essence, biologically not chronologically, thanks, he was adult; and he, Varian, though he'd always be ashamed of it, passed out, because the other five members of Team Awesome were, for a moment, just too shocked to react.

And being unsconcious, he wasn't exactly sure what happened right afterwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: 
> 
> 1\. The proverb is partly made up by me, partly made up and inspired by Andrzej Sapkowski's "Wiedźmin"'s quote: 
> 
> "Pomyliłeś niebo z gwiazdami odbitymi nocą na powierzchni stawu."
> 
> ("You've confused the sky with stars reflected on the pond's surface at the nighttime.")
> 
> 2\. Chapter 4: Not My Fault as Far as I (Don't) Remember coming soon.


	4. Not MY Fault as far as I (Don't) Remember / His First Murder Was (Forgotten)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And for two years now, he's dreamt of something sinister, every night. Why? 
> 
> And for two years now, ever since escaping the late bandit boss, Baron, Dad was fine and with Varian again, so why the nightmares that he couldn't even remember? Eh, just stupid dreams. Stupid dreams is all. He should ask Cassie whether she had such stupid dreams, too.

_He had to run as far away as possible. He had to be a distraction. Then, his Dad would be able to escape, even on his wheelchair, with Team Awesome's help._

_He tried to cure Dad with his song, like Cassandra said he could, but it didn't work. And he suddenly understood that the reason it never worked, the reason the Moon Song never worked on father again, was because he had, back then, accidently made Dad deaf and so, his magic couldn't touch him anymore, because unlike the Sundrop song, the Moondrop's only worked on those who could hear it._

_It didn't even have to be a song. Varian now knew that Cassie was right - he could just, right now, say to the Baron 'you're not interested in me anymore' and the Baron wouldn't fancy him anymore --- right, he should try that, right about now!_

_Varian took a deep breath._

_"You," he said, in a sing-song voice, roughly to the Moondrop's melody - "don't fancy any Varian or any Lady Caine anymore. No more. You don't want me, you don't lust after me, I'm boring and unattractive."_

_The Baron's eyes glazed over for a moment, as a cluster of black rocks grew nearby, accidently almost pushing the Baron off the cliff, but the Baron was more skillful than that, he just caught one of the spikes and pulled himself up. He didn't fall._

_"You're boring, Lady Caine. You're unattractive."_

_"Exactly!" Varian shouted in reply, joyful as he hasn't been in weeks now. "I'm boring and unattractive!"_

_"So you are," the Baron replied, and pulled himself up fully and began walking away. But suddenly, he stopped._

_He ran up to Varian again and pulled him close, embraced him, and whispered into his ear, as the moon up above shone, and so did the rocks, and so did Varian's suddenly long hair:_

_"You're boring, you're unattractive, but I want you."_

_"What??? Why, why doesn't the magic work?!"_

_"Forever," the Baron whispered, "you had said: forever, Lady Caine."_

_Varian groaned. He wished he had never added 'forever' to that sentence._

_"Oh, come on!" he screamed, frustrated. "Jump off the cliff, we're right here so you can, would you?!"_

_That was just his frustration. But he did open his mouth. He did say the words._

_And the Baron jumped. And this was the first time... when Varian looked down, this was the first time he saw a_ freshly  _dead body._

_He shuddered._

_********_

The alchemical alarm clock rang and Varian woke up, yawning. His bedsheets and his skin, just like every morning, stank. He sweated a lot. He had a vague impression of having had a nightmare, just like every night for the past month, ever since the Baron's suicide.

"Varian?"

Dad was there, on his wheelchair, in the doorway, looking at him with a strange kind of concern.

"Oh, good morning, Dad! Sorry, sorry I'm a mess, it's just, I dreamt of that bandit's weird suicide again, maybe? I don't really remember.

His father could read his mouth when Varian was emotional and slow like in the mornings, and in reply, he frowned and said,

"Both you and the Princess keep saying it was a suicide, but, son, actually-"

"Actually?"

His father continued speaking, but unfortunately, Varian somehow zoned out. And then, they were eating breakfest. Whatever Dad said, it couldn't have been very important, or Varian wouldn't have zoned out, would he? 

"Dad," Varian said and wrote down at the same time, noticing just now with a slight concern,  _Dad, I think my hair is longer yet again. I didn't do anything to the house or to you, have i?_

Quirin shook his head.

"Varian. You did do something with your magic just now - to your own mind."

"Oh," Varian replied, in both speech and writing, carelessly, "that's good, I could care less about my own mind. So, in other words, everything is still happily ever after, right?"

His Dad said something in reply, but somehow, try as he might, Varian couldn't quite register it. It was only almost as if he could hear the words with his ears but his brain wasn't allowed to process them. And Varian's hair had that blue-silvery shine again.

"Forget it, Dad. Or write it down. Maybe I'll be able to read it?"

His father spoke again, "

 

 

and Princess Rapunzel asked if you could babysit little Varian again."

"Oh," Varian wrote, brightening up,  _gladly! I've been missing that baby boy. And I should, of course, I'm his godfather after all!_

_*********_

Quirin smiled weakly. So Varian could at least hear  _that._ And so, the truth about what happened was the only thing that Varian made unhearable for himself. The truth that Varian had killed the Baron.

And the truth that right now, Varian looked circa seventeen years old, in Quirin's estimation, but he knew that when Varian looked in the mirror, he still saw himself as a fourteen-year-old. And that the last thing - because Varian told him - the last thing Varian remembered about escaping Baron was Varian shouting that the Baron is a paedophile.

Maybe it was better that way. Varian had killed in self-defence, and on accident, just lashing out, after all, but Varian would not see it that way. He'd now consider himself a cold-blooded murderer and that wouldn't do them - or anyone else - any good.

***

Playing with little Varian was always great. It took his mind off darker thoughts. And when he was with the little boy, he never zoned out. 

He couldn't spend too much time with him, because then, he would spend too much time not being at Dad's side and that  _ ~~wasn't allowed. Forever means forever, you believe in forever, you said you would break if you're not with that man, Quirin, and I don't want my dear vessel to break, quoth the Moondrop. So play with toddlers for a few hours, if you want, but then run back to Quirin, because I don't want you to break, I'll protect you, I will.~~_

 ~~~~"Uncle Varian," the prince, future king, who'd in future chronicles unfortunately sometimes get confused with his godfather because of same time period and same names, and inaccurate historical sources, said, "uncle Varian, would you teach me some Alchemy? Mom told me about alchemy, and it sound fascinating!"

"Nah, you're too young."

"Uncle Varian, I know you don't age," the Princeling pouted, "but  _I_ do. I'm six years old already! And I bet you I'm smart. I can read!"

"That's great, but just yesterday, you weren't much older than a baby. You're too young for alchemy."

"I wasn't a baby! Daddy's right, your sense of time is just plain messed up, Uncle!"

Varian shook his head. It really hasn't been that long since his godson was barely older than a baby, has it?

********

He clearly remembered that much, when looking back upon the Baron misadventure:

_****_

_Back then, Varian had panicked and backed of again. Cassandra was right, the Song was in his voice, the power was in his voice, and now, he made that whole Baron lust after him. That would be… well, he could now end it, right?_

_“You no longer find me attractive,” he sang._

_The Baron’s eyes glazed over, but only for a moment._

_“Forever, Lady Caine, you’re forever mine.”_

_What?!_

_Varian didn’t understand. Maybe Cassie was wrong?! No, wait._

_I sang ‘forever’, he’s realised. Or at least said it._

_“If you believe in ‘forever’, then you should look it”, he said, firmly. “You’re just that naive and young, apparently. Just like me once.”_

_Something… was happening, at least._

_Suddenly, Baron…. changed, and now… he seemed… five years younger than a second ago._

_“Forever, my lady,” he repeated._

_That… that wasn’t a good move, Varian now realised clearly. If Baron was younger, he was probably stronger, and… and also, Varian felt something strange happening to his own body. He immediately took a hand mirror from one of his many pockets and looked at his own reflection. The differences weren’t astonishing or anything, and for a moment, he didn’t even see any - right, he still looked fifteen-years-old, as he has for so many years now, even during his twenty two birthday almost a year ago, so there was nothing surprising… until he saw a lack of any scar - stupid-Stabbington-scar as he callled it - on his own neck. And then, he looked at the hands. Hands which were irritatingly free of any blemishes a few minutes ago, and now, he saw the past there. All those nicks and scratches and scars and dents from trying to break the amberlike Moon rock, all those old faded signs were back._

_Varian gritted his teeth. He really hated the Moondrop magic now._

_“I never asked to look like a fourteen-year-old stupid child again! What, will Cassandra look younger again, too?!”_

_He had a strange feeling and he suddenly regretted his words, because somehow, he just knew now… the next time he saw his fiancee… ex-fiancee… he had a pretty good idea what she would look like._

_Oh, no! She would look younger than he should look now. How were they ever going to get married?!_

_Meanwhile, the young Baron grabbed his arm again._

_“Lady Caine, please, stop protesting. We both know you want this as much as I do. That you want me. So stop lying, you bitch!”_

_Varian slapped him._

_“Stop it or I’ll go to the guards and tell them you’re a paedophile!” he screamed. “I might’ve been born twenty three years ago, but I’m fourteen, you moron, and I’m not Caine! I’m just a child, you don’t want to have your way with me!”_

_The man let go of him, looking very disgusted, and nodded._

_But then… he reached out to him again, whispering, “But you said ‘forever’.”_

_Varian had groaned._

******

But what happened afterwards? What did? What had? What? What?

"Uncle, you're growing rocks again, that's naughty, stop!" his godson, Varian, suddenly shouted.

Varian shook his head, getting out of the daze. 

"No rocks," he said, in a firm voice.

The rocks disappeared and Rapunzel's and Eugene's little Varian laughed, "Good uncle! That's my favourite trick. But please don't do it when Daddy comes, he stiiiiiiiiiill gets scared of the rocks, it's funny, but. But not that funny. Because then he gets upset."

 _And with a good reason_ , the grown-up (not really) Varian thought, but didn't dare say aloud. Because for him, saying things made them true. Literally. And he'd never, ever, endanger his godson again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> 1\. Yes, we will someday hear what Quirin said, because Varian subconsciously heard it, he just can't access it because he put a spell on himself not to be able to access the truth of that topic, with anyone.
> 
> 2.  
> A/N: Sneak peek of Ch.5:
> 
> From the Notes of Moondrop Alchemist:
> 
> "And this is a story I never wrote down before. But I guess I'm looking back at all the times I forgot that my voice is a weapon and I only have myself to blame and don't even regret making my voice a weapon, no matter what became of me. Oh, I got better, you knoe that. Now, when I'm angry, I don't use my damn pipehalls till I'm calm.
> 
> This is the story of how, if SHE hadn't been a saint, you'd never have been born and you would only have me to blame for that.
> 
> This is the story of how I accidently magicked your great(*5)grandmother, Cassie, into not ever loving me again, ever... and she proved that love is stronger than Darknesses of Moondrops and gave me my most solid concussion ever and before that, she only ceased to love me for a year. Can you imagine? Only a year! And that's our Cassie. So now you know you were named after the most amazing woman to have ever existed, so take pride in that, grand(etc)daughter. (Words like that ae fine as long as I don't 'sing' them, and I still can't 'sing' on paper, so concern yourself not at all.)
> 
> I'd say I was always afterwads proud of her for that, but if I said that, I'd risk being haunted. Because between the two of us, some words are banned.
> 
> Why? Well, simply put, because some words, I felt very strongly about... and for someone with now magic singing voice, such words were, how to put it, slightly unsafe. Just a teeny tiny little bit.  
> Fine, I confess. "Proud" once accidently resulted in a war with three neighbouring kingdoms, which I'm decidedly not proud of. However, that happened twenty years later. And it's embarassing. Mea culpa."
> 
> Another sneak peek of ch.5 :
> 
> “No fair, Pascal! I’m winning the next frying pan duel today!”  
> He could feel the song rise inside his soul and his face went red. Now he couldn’t duel Pascal again today. Because yes, he would win against the animal now, but it wouldn’t be really real. It would be magic cheating.
> 
> The chameleon gave him a thumbs down, understanding that to be the case just as well as the young former alchemist.  
> “Oh, come on, Pascal, tomorrow! Fair and sqauare, tomorrow I shall wimmmmmmmhhhhhh”  
> A few less safe rocks circled them as Pascal stopped him from reaching the end of this sentence. With a tried and true magic stopper - paws over Varian’s mouth. Varian felt furious again - that is, for a few seconds, until he realised that the chameleon has just protected them from Varian’s accidental cheating - again.
> 
> “Hey, thanks, Pascal. Now that’s a true royal chameleon, I guess,” he muttered, and then doubled over laughing a moment ago, when in a flash of shimmering blue light and how-many-times-do-I-have-to-cut-my-hair a tiara, Rapunzel’s tiara, shrunken to fit, suddenly appeared on Pascal’s head.
> 
> "And anyway, since I'm running my mouth anyway, maybe at least I could say something beneficial. How about... what I've done for Ruddiger when he was getting dangerously old! He's still old now and gets tired when walking and mostly stays home, but we're still together! So, how about this? Pascal is going to live for 300 or 400 or 500 years, whichever of those options he prefers, healthy for this whole time, and just die in his sleep sometime. How about that?"
> 
> Ehh, he hated having to narrowly miss death by impalement by sudden rocks, and having his hair suddenly reach his ankles, but that was probably worth it.
> 
> “Cassie always says I shouldn’t run my mouth, what with the Moondrop being too literal, and she’s right. I’ll utter not a single word for the next month!”
> 
> They kept training for the next hour, if only because Pascal was curious how Varian’s fake wins look. The frying pan changing, on its own accord, from the normal kitchen utensil into a shimmering blue-black frying pan made of unbreakable rock in the middle of the duel, just when Pascal would have won fair and square, and shattering the chameleon's weapon into millions of pieces was certainly nothing to sneaze her, but the chameleon wasn't impressed.
> 
> When Flynn came to join in, Varian waved to him enthusiastically and tried to say 'hi’ and was momentarily shocked that no sound came out of his mouth. Meanwhile, Flynn looked only mildly surprised. And the chameleon? He facepalmed and gave Varian a Look.


	5. Interlude 1: Back Then

And being the wanted criminal, and accidently almost killing the Princess and Cassie, wasn't even the worst.

As he wondered how to get back to his laboratory - to his still trapped father - he's idly realised what day today was.

It was his, Varian's, birthday. And it was the first one when he wouldn't be able to hear his dad's voice. To even see Dad's face, because the lab was heavily guarded now, of course it was, everybody knew Varian would come back there.

And he would. Even though coming back there would mean getting arrested and probably hanged. But if he didn't go back there, he would never see Dad again, and that was much worse.

A few black moon rock spikes grew right underneath his feet - or would have, if his reflexes were slightly worse. Whew, that was close!

Lately, after he's done many more experiments with them, they seemed to be almost as obsessed with him as they were with Rapunzel.

"What do you want from me?!" Varian shouted at them, for the first time truly speaking to rocks. "Who do you take me for, I'm not magic, I'm not some wizard, and I don't mess with you because I want to!"

The black rock turned to dust, and as he breathed heavily after screaming, he's inhaled some of it. And suddenly had his answer.

He saw... a surreal side to see awake and he wasn't even a medic, so more surreal still. He saw clearly, in the past, inside the Queen's womb, and a creature so small and fragile that he instantly felt like forgiving it, er, already _her_ , well, he saw....saw what would become Rapunzel absorbing the Sun Flower's power. And he _felt_. Not Rapunzel's feelings, the Sundrop's, the Sundrop's. And suddenly, everything was perfectly clear. The Moondrop was envious.

"Fine," he said, "show me to the source, and I'll take you. Let you take me? Whichever. I don't know how it works. And I've already been born, you know, if that's any problem? But only as long as father can be freed."

And he saw. Himself, older, experienced with Moon's power, calmly touching the molten amber rocks and making them turn into dust, harmlessly, revealing Quirin, now free and unharmed, and not a day older than when Varian trapped him. This could happen, with Moon powers, and with enough of patience and training with his Moon song beforehand. This could happen in a year or two, if Varian became the Moondrop today.

"Fine," Varian muttered. He would give the powers what they wanted: an actual human being for a conduit, as they apparently envied the Sundrop that had that. And he would free Dad the moment he had that powers! Patience? What good was patience? Why should his Dad be stuck in some rocks of Darkness for another year or two?

Another inhale of dust. What he saw, made him anxious, but it had to be a lie. 

He'd never accidently hurt his dad again. He'd just be careful with his newly-acquired powers.

There was nothing admirable about patience when every day meant that his father lost that day and Varian could never make up for that. And so, he let the Moondrop show him the way to its source. The place where the Sunflower once grew.

Now, what? As he had told the Moondrop, Varian had already been born, unlike Rapunzel back then.

"How, exactly, do I get reborn?"

_The very thought frightens me. To someone religious, it sounds like such a great thing... but I'm a scientist. I'm almost adult. Rebirth: doesn't that plainly mean I'd regress? Nevermind that. I can even become an infant and die of hunger here, if it's for Dad. Because I'm the one to blame. Not the Princess. I know that now._

_Regress... I hope not, despite everything. That's scary. I'm... actually scared. I can still be scared?_

Varian grinned in awe. He had no idea he could still be so terrified for himself.

But no, there would be no patience. He had to free quickly absorb the powers, run to his lab, and free Dad before getting justly caught and hanged for treason. Quickly.

_More visions of sloppy de-encapsulating. Nah, I'm not gonna fall for that. Either I do it fast, or never, because I'll already be hanged._

He was ready as he would ever be, and he wouldn't be sloppy, the Moon's predictions be damned. The Moondrop knew nothing. He would never hurt Dad.

Never again.

"So,  _how_ do I get reborn? And there's no flower here, what, do I eat rocks?! Blergh. I don't think so."

He sniffed.  _Smells of salt. And some of these rocks, they look almost like fossilised...nah, not quite._

_Anyway. How? Because I'm ready._


	6. Interlude 2: Friends Don't Kill Friends / I Did Not Understand His Words, I Remember

_"Actually, now that I look adult, I'll freely admit I hadn' understood a single word my father said that day - until years later. His frienship, his heart, his priorities._

_In short, I ~~am~~ was a brat. _

**_True_ **

_That's Eugene's 'true' up there. I have no idea how he got my notes, but he's got no right to scribble on the margins! Be quiet, Eugene. I mean, please. I learnt to say please, so I'm not a bad guy anymore, okay? Okay._

**_Varian seriously_ **

_I said no more stealing my notes and scribbling on margins or I'll rock you!! Please._ "

 

_\- some scraps of scattered pages that some scholar identify as the first manuscript of "Moondrop Alchemist's Diary" due to the similar handwriting of the main writer_

_*************_

 It was dawn in the village of Old Corona. The birds were chirping, the flowers were growing... not that Varian could hear flowers growing. Unlike the birds. He could definitely hear the birds. Quite the noisy fellows. Much noisier than raccoons. Varian always had a weak spot for raccoons, truth be told. Maybe he should get one. Maybe that one that has been a pest for a year now, always breaking in. He even thought of a name for him, three months ago. Ruddiger. It suited him.

Anyway. Neither birds, raccoons, nor flowers were the reason the boy alchemist was awake right now, at down. But Varian had a reason to be awake. Well, apart from the fact that some strange small black rock suddenly grew at the base at his bed, but that didn't wake him up, nope. It's not like one gets nightmares from touching a rock.

In the nightmare, it felt as if the rock was inviting him, or maybe, inviting itself into his dream realm, wanting him to take it there? So he touched it. And then had a dream. And then definitely refused to invite any rocks ever again, no matter how pretty they were.

It was all just a dream, anyway, rock included seeing as it was no longer there now, at dawn.

All a dream, though he remembered it so clearly... The king, the king's advisor, the advisor saying to the princess  _Varian? Varian's dangerous. Don't you remember how he attacked you?!_

_attacked you_

_attacked you_

_attacked you_

_attacked you_

_No, he only came to beg for my help, Varian's one of my closest friends, he'd never_

_and then, there was another person, but with no voice of her own, in this dream, as it had to be a dream, the strange person used faces and voices not her own, and Varian slowly became more and more confused, because_

_not attack_

_not attack_

_I_

_not attack_

_never_

_not attack_

_begged for him for help_

_not attack_

_Varian!_

_Rapunzel_

_Cassie_

_Flynn_

_Quirin_

_not attack_

_only begged for help_

_me_

_ocean_

_safe_

_land_

_free_

_never_

_never_

_beg for help_

_beg_

_for_

_help_

_please!_

_need_

_you_

_beg_

_you_

_promise!_

_Free_

_free_

_beg you_

_promise_

_free_

_me please_

_now_

_with you_

_in you_

_would be free_

_free inside you not in dried rocks that no longer are alive_

_beg you_

_begged you_

_please_

_promise_

_please_

_free_

_for me_

_please_

_in you_

_can be any person but you one of Sun closest friends you Varian so beg you_

_Varian!!!!_

_look out_

_please_

_one of closest friends_

_free_

_to me_

_become_

_please_

_beg you_

_promise_

_beg you_

_Varian!!!!_

_free me_

_Varian!!!_

_anybody can_

_but you one of closest friends_

_so please_

_because you're close to the Sundrop, I can reach you and beg because I too_

_want to impress_

_messed up_

_make you proud_

_free_

_me_

_please_

_under the ocean_

_so please_

_Varian!!!_

Who shouted? Milady Cassandra? Eugene? Princess Rapunzel? Dad? No, all of them, but Varian could feel, it was a stranger, that was using hteir voices, as they had no voice of their own, and for some reason, the stranger thought Varian could help, and so, they begged for help, though every 'beg' was said in Varian's voice. Though 'beg' wasn't really a word Varian would use much, himself. It wasn't that easy to _beg,_ as a scientist, as an alchemist, as a man, he had his pride... And then, the sea and some images Varian couldn't understand.

_**************_

He woke up again, trying to remember the scraps of his senseless dreams. It was still just after dawn.

**********

 There was an awkward silence at breakfest. No wonder, as usually the young alchemist talked a lot, and usually, his father was a man of few words.

His father frowned.

"Son, you look unwell."

"I... do? Of course, I do, you know, father, these nightma----nighttime making of stuff, I just really, really made too much stuff tonight, so I didn't sleep enough, sorry! Didn't mean to be so gloom and doom in the morning," and then Varian smiled awkwardly, forcefully, and added, "see? I'm not gloomy anymore, so we can just be content now, yaaay, at least before I get hanged for attackin the princess of whole Corona, heh!"

Quirin stood up with the sudennes that made Varian take a step back.

"What did you say?!"

"I, well, you know that explosion three days ago, the one where I got our village half-destroyed again and would have died?"

Quirin sat down again.

"What's important is that you weren't hurt," he said, quietly, "I don't know what I'd do otherwise."

"Er, yea, Dad, I wasn't hurt, but that's not what matters! What matters is, the Princess Rapunzel, my friend - I think -and anyway, our  _Princess, Lost Princess,_ I mean, found Princess, by Flynn Rider, our found Princess could have been hurt. Because of me!"

Quirin smiled slightly.

"You meant well. Just apologise to her. I'm glad you two became friends. You don't even know how much that means to me, as Frederic's - I mean, His Majesty's - old friend."

"But, but, but, father! I... some people might say I attacked her! With my explosion! And then, and then I'm gonna get hanged by sure."

His father really did  _not_ appreciate the full gravity of the situation, seeing as he seemed a hair away from a slight chuckle. Varian couldn't take it anymore!

"Dad! Just because I'm maybe the princess' friend now... wow....." Varian had to stop for a moment, full of awe, processing the thought.

Meanwhile, his father calmly finished his ham sandwich, as if nothing was wrong in the world. The sandwitch that Varian made for him, maybe the last one before Varian would get justly hanged for accidently almost exploding the princess and the Flynn Rider. The nerve! They were in a middle of a life and death situation! Conversation. Whichever!

"Father!"

"Yes?" his father asked, calmly. "What's wrong, Varian?"

"I.... you know what, nevermind. I only need to know one thing. If, if the King wanted me hanged, you would probably agree, wouldn't you? Because the King's your best friend and all, so you cherish that. And you wouldn't want to lose our King's frienship."

Now his father looked angrier than Varian's ever seen him. He stood up, clenched his hands into fists, and said,

"A man can cherish many things, son. What matters is that he knows what he cherishes the most. And that's something you should understand already. Because when your priorities clash, it's important to know what's most important and choose that - with clear conscience. And with knowing that you will suffer for that choice, because other things matter, too, but you agree to that. As long as there are no doubts. True, it would hurt me to turn on someone I cherish. But I would do that for someone I cherish the most. Someone who is the best thing I've achieved in this life."

Varian was silent for a moment, than whispered, 

"A-ah. It's... been a while since you talked that much, D-F--sir? I. I'm glad you cherish me, even if it's not as much as much as you cherish the king? And that you'd suffer if I died? I mean, I'm not glad, I...! Sorry!"

Varian, now extremely embarassed, ran out of the room. The last thing he's heard from his father till the evening was, faintly, upon running out and slamming the door - well, Varian slammed the door, obviously, not Quirin, father would never slam any doors - was,  _Was this silly boy even listening to a single word I said? And yes, it was theoretical, but the things I said---- honestly!_

Varian was now crying, silently. Of course he's heard! Of course. He listened carefully to every word, he got it all! Priorities. He was only the second to Dad, second priority after the King, and so, his Dad would never commit treason for him, even if Varian somehow accidently ever neeeded that to do so, to save him from being hanged for accidently exploding some princess or another.

The raccoon was in his room again. How did he get in?

 _That's it, I'm keeping him and calling him Ruddiger. And I wouldn't ever commit hypothetical treason for you, Ruddiger,_  patting the nice and furry pest,  _but I so hypothetically would for my father, even if it's not mutual! I sooooo hypothetically would. Priorities, Ruddiger, and he is mine. He's right. Priorities._

_******_

"Flynn won't freak out that you're visiting me the second time? And I'm sorry, but the results were lost. Maybe we can repeat the tests? But only next month, after I rebuild the machines." 

The princess smiled brightly.

"Varian, I asked you for the results, but that's not the main reason I'm here. You're kind and smart, and resourceful, and I really want to become your friend! No matter what Eugene and Cass say."

"Oh."

Varian wasn't sure what to say. But the sky suddenly seemed so much brighter. And he wasn't even going to be hanged and leave Dad in mourning and possibly slightly upset with a friend! So things were already looking up.

But he really wasn't sure what he should say.

"Er, uhm, I. Uhm. Gladly! Er, the princess, I mean, Your Highness, I mean..."

"Rapunzel. Please."

"Rapunzel, that's it, our Princess Rapunzel, yes! Princess... er, uhm. Rapunzel, this is Ruddiger!"

"Oh, it's the one from the pink stuff! My fellow pink stuff victim. Nice to meet you, Ruddiger!"

The princess' smile shone like the Sun in the sky, and suddenly, Varian believed that they were friends, and from now on, he knew no hangings would occure, and better than that... he's just, somehow, he didn't know how, because he only messed up and didn't even solve her hair mystery...

but somehow, he's  _earned a true friend, a wonderful friend who's forgiven him, even!_

Princess Rapunzel.

And he wanted to tell her, that he's always, always wanted to be her friend, ever since he's heard of the lost princess. That he wanted to find her and bring her home, because surely her parents loved her as much as his father loved him, and had to be at least slightly upset at her missing.

He wanted to tell her that, but was scared that she wouldn't believe, that the words would sound hollow in her ears, and so, he'd never say that aloud.

********

Not till he was circa two hundred years old, that is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: As I've said, all the interludes are flashbacks.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: 
> 
> 1\. I won't watch Sundrop ep till March at the earliest, so no spoilers for me, please. Absolutely no spoilers. I'll be grateful. There's no point in ficcing if I accidently get spoilt just because my country's tv is always a few months late.
> 
> 2.  
> Chapter 4 sneek peak:
> 
> "  
> "A few centuries afterwards, in the XXth century, to be exact, due to various strange historical or ahistorical sources, some historians were confused about the two Varians.
> 
> One hypothesis, the one commonly accepted, was that the Alchemist of the Moondrop and the King were one and the same person.
> 
> Another hypothesis was that the Alchemist was another person and was named in the King's memory, or the other way around. But there was insufficient proof for that.
> 
> One crazy hypothesis, which had its source in some strange diary, supposedly the Moondrop Alchemist's, stated that the Alchemist was the King's godfather. However, rational historians cannot prove that. Besides, the historians who postulate that, also postulate that the Alchemist married the Captain of the Guard. Such a theory makes most other historians say "those conspiracy theoretists are crazy and even that Varian would say that, if he really was a magical man of science!" 
> 
> Some historians postulate that the Queen Rapunzel I wanted to prank them all, and succeeded. They all admire her for that. That, theory, however, is untirely uncientific, I say. The Queen has never been very good at pranks, I have sources of my own for that knowledge. Trustworthy sources. A contemporary witness, whom I'd trust with my life and my powers of science."
> 
> Chapter 4 will be out on January the 20th. Chapter 5 "Encapsulation of Age, Encapsulation of Memory - Accidental" will be out on January the 27th. Chapter 6 ""Liar", I Lied to Myself, Dishonestly", on February the 3rd. Chapter 7 "The Moondrop Lady Is the Jealous Mistress If She Exists (She Cannot, He Didn't Sign on That!)" will be out in March or sooner.
> 
>  
> 
> Btw: I can't legally watch "Secret of the Sundrop" in my country's tv yet, as it's not gonna air here yet. I watched "Ready as I'll Ever Be" a second ago and it will be sort of included, AUly so, in this story. But spoiling me on what happens AFTER "Ready as I'll Ever Be" isn't allowed. Okay? Please. The story goes completely AU from there.
> 
> Also, interludes will keep changing places in the fic, because I want chapters to have their proper numbers. :D


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